"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."

"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."

"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"

"She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face."

"The fact is that we would have had comprehensive health care now, had it not been for Ted Kennedy's deliberately blocking the legislation that I proposed in 1978 or '79."

"If not for the success that medicine has made, I might be part of a much different story right now."

"No company is preferable to bad. We are more apt to catch the vices of others than virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."