"The only sense that is common in the long run, is the sense of change and we all instinctively avoid it."

"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."

"When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad."

"The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people."

"The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion."

"I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?"

"I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'"

"I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny."