"Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car."

"Commas in The New Yorker fall with the precision of knives in a circus act, outlining the victim."

"Be obscure clearly."

"There is nothing more likely to start disagreement among people or countries than an agreement."

"I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman."

"You may feel powerless as a child, but the world will one day be yours. And you're responsible for it. So, seize the day and take charge of it."

"Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father."

"I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days."