"Act like you expect to get into the end zone."

"Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting."

"High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead."

"There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning."

"As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children."

"When a father gives to his son, both laugh when a son gives to his father, both cry."

"It's not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn't have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn't have much to do with reality."

"There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary."