"The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned."

"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."

"You know what the critics are. If you tell the truth they only say you're cynical and it does an author no good to get a reputation for cynicism."

"A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing."

"I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers."

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."

"I'm always trying to perfect the romantic comedy, though."

"I met Woz when I was 13, at a friend's garage. He was about 18. He was, like, the first person I met who knew more electronics than I did at that point. We became good friends, because we shared an interest in computer and we had a sense of humor. We pulled all kinds of pranks together."