"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

"The beauty of the unknown is that the legacy we leave is written in the hearts of others."

"To the eyes of a miser a guinea is more beautiful than the sun, and a bag worn with the use of money has more beautiful proportions than a vine filled with grapes."

"Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action."