"The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature."

"Intelligence is quickness to apprehend as distinct from ability, which is capacity to act wisely on the thing apprehended."

"Knowledge shrinks as wisdom grows."

"Fools act on imagination without knowledge, pedants act on knowledge without imagination."

"I have thought there was some advantage even in death, by which we mingle with the herd of common men."

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends."

"When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die."

"I think I might actually die of showing off. It'll be on my headstone - 'Cause of Death: Showing Off.'"