"Oceania was at war with Eurasia therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia."

"The intellectual is different from the ordinary man, but only in certain sections of his personality, and even then not all the time."

"Men are only as good as their technical development allows them to be."

"The river of time washes away kings and empires, leaving only virtue intact. This remains the cornerstone of personal mastery — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"Humor can be one of our best survival tools."

"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."

"Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?"

"I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'"