"There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo."

"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."

"It is a humble truth that wisdom is the quiet art of recognizing what can be changed and releasing what cannot."

"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing."

"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way."

"I agree with just about everyone in the reform debate when they say 'If you like what you have, you should be able to keep it.' But the truth is that none of the health reform bills making their way through Congress actually delivers on that promise."