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Quotes about Funny

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

by George Carlin (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: dark, forecast, tonight , weather

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

by George Carlin (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: before, does, get , mean

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

by Chevy Chase (Comedian, American , born in 1943) keywords: goldfish, great, make, more, parrots, personality, pets , than

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it.

by Mason Cooley (Writer, American , born in 1927) keywords: admit, cats, hate , inquisitive

Cure for an obsession: get another one.

by Mason Cooley (Writer, American , born in 1927) keywords: cure , obsession

Calvin Coolidge

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

by Calvin Coolidge (President, American , born in 1872) keywords: been, hurt, never , said

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

by Bill Cosby (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: advice, necessary, need, ones, stupid, wise , word

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

by Bill Cosby (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: always, carry, child, end, name, vowel, will, yell , your

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

by Bill Cosby (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: fatherhood, love, most, present , pretending

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

by Bill Cosby (Comedian, American , born in 1937) keywords: allow, back, beings, children, come, creatures, earth, home, human, only , their

Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.

by Doug Coupland (Author, Canadian , born in 1961) keywords: florida

There is only one absinthe drinker, and that's the man who painted this idiotic picture.

by Thomas Couture (Artist, French , born in 1815) keywords: absinthe, drinker, idiotic, painted , picture

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

by Quentin Crisp (Writer, English , born in 1908) keywords: failure, first, may, style, succeed , your

Rodney Dangerfield

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

by Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian, American , born in 1921) keywords: fat, found, hang, look, only, out, thin , way

Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

by Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian, American , born in 1921) keywords: haven, her, interrupt, spoken, want, wife , years

Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

by Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian, American , born in 1921) keywords: family, found, looked, out, sap, tree , up

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

by Bette Davis (Actor, American , born in 1908) keywords: afraid, brought, conventions, did, end, had, love, marriage, respect , up

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

by Bette Davis (Actor, American , born in 1908) keywords: hair, just, kiss, washed , ya

Ellen DeGeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

by Ellen DeGeneres (Comedian, American , born in 1958) keywords: day, five, grandmother, hell, know, miles, now, she, sixty, started, walking , where

Ellen DeGeneres

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

by Ellen DeGeneres (Comedian, American , born in 1958) keywords: accountant, always, ask, child, funny, well , were

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